Review: If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating

If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating by Alan Alda
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In this book on science communications, Alan Alda tells a story of how he noticed that he was becoming more empathetic with people when he first tried to name their emotional state to himself, silently, while interacting with them. He mentions this to a researcher, who runs with the idea and creates a study. Alda tells of the study, his participation in it, and the results, which were positive, but were also extended by the researcher beyond Alda’s original intent. Then Alda does a funny thing, he relates how others have recommended “his way” of becoming more empathetic. To me, Alda is being a bit self-centered. But you can get away with that if you are entertaining. And in this book, Alda is. Taking a cue from his research, he keeps the topics covered to a small number. At first, he relates communication with improv acting, and his stories about this, including relating interviews with scientists, discussing research, and dropping personal stories, many related to his hosting of the Scientific America TV series, that entertain while building Alda’s science-cred. (Or at least his pop-sci-cred.) A major enabler of improved communications with improv is empathy with your audience, so Alda spends most of the rest of the book talking about how to increase your empathy. The last third hit on a number of topics, including the basics of storytelling. It doesn’t feel like a self-help book, but in the end it is, with plenty of interesting digressions. And if you liked Alda in Scientific American Frontiers, you’ll like this book. He uses the same kind of story introduction and flow that he used in the TV show. It reads very familiarly. Alda does the audiobook version, and that lends even more to the TV show vibe. Although this was a book limited in what it wants to accomplish, it accomplished its mission with aplomb. I feel I learned a few things I’ll be trying for bettering my communications. This would be a great book for a new teacher, with plenty of examples and anecdotes about education for all ages.

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